Getting better

It has been over 2 months since my last post. I haven't been focused on pick up at all these weeks, but I was really focused on getting and feeling better about and with myself.

The good thing is that I managed to get the drinking more or less under control right now. I really experience that I'm feeling better by not drinking on weekdays. Furthermore, I started going to the gym. They created a program for me and now I even go to the gym for at least 3 days a week. This really makes me feel good.

Now that I feel better physically (by not drinking all day and by going to the gym) I will now also have to focus on the mental part of getting better.

Sometimes I feel anxious when being in a social environment. I'm always worried 'what would they think of me' in any scenario. This is really taking a lot of energy from me :( And sometimes even avoid things to prevent from being 'judged' by other people. This is really a problem of certain thoughts in my mind that I really seem to believe in. Ive found a good Dutch book that hopefully can help me. This book is about changing your thoughts and 'destroy' what they call the 'internal critic'. This is what I mean with the internal voice in my head that keeps telling me negative things like 'what will they think of me when you do this'.

The reviews I found about this book look promising. The book has a lot of theory and practical excercises. More on that later when I read a few chapters and when I've done the first excercises.

Summarized, three main points for me to focus on right now:
- no drinking on weekdays (ongoing)
- go to the gym at least 3 days a week (ongoing)
- read the book and do all excercises from the book (new)